Tears, Heavy is the burden on our back….Heart Ache…just growing pain.
Are we only meant to enhance our ability to hold its power…IT being love, and ABILITY being our attempt at containment? Avoiding settling down to our root of balance to feel the sweetness of love, it is part tragedy by nature, so this doesnt surprise me. Truly embracing it as a whole perhaps is something to terrifying for most of us…. our every muttering of the word spawning reactions based in fear – contraction being fears expression, through our very nature we draw away.
Soon enough we will be gone and love will mean something else entirely…and we will feel foolish…but the anticaption of regret leaves a sour taste in my mouth and I cant help but wonder if and then indeed proceed to take on the challenge of unlocking myself here and now, before I die!
If we stop to simmer in it’s divinity right now we lose a hold on it because we perhaps never where intended to be a master of something that is not a thing but that is what binds us deeper then even a neuron in the brain binds to our rational thinking mind in a act of self preservation we suffer on…alas..I say again…Alas. We all know our minds….we all know how poor of a relationship we have with this most interesting of things. That’s why we attempt to get to know our minds better, loosening said neurons and expanding limitations we have set up for ourselves, self preservation ….as we continue to walk home…..We continue to struggle against the walls of the hole we have dug for ourselves…Catch 22 in every direction.
As Soon as we stop breaking ourselves against these rocks of despair the sweetness we have worked for is soon to disappear…..is this what it means to dispose of fear?
The Karmic bond that leaves us with half a chance of “something” but we don’t even know what because we lack the clarity to even say what we came here for to begin with?….Maybe if we’re lucky it’d be a haven from our own battles of self and other, is that love? A void that no limiting belief can exist in?
I do dare to evolve, and I dare you not to, it’s never been up to us…. I dare because I’m brave, I’m brave because I am human and by virtue of being human I am terrified, we have fought for everything we have, clawed tooth and nail, sinister and saintly is our nature and we will go down fighting with every bit of brilliance…. With every bit of grit that has forged us in the fires of creation, we are because we will not back down from getting closer to ourselves, the shadows, veils of vapor we draw closer to the light, this is our true yearning, we continue to walk home – this is evolution.
Challenge is what we live for, adversity!
We crave suffering, we create it when it is absent. We miss it unconsciously so then it returns, be it based in reality or simply allusion of the mind, fulfilling our twisted nature to suffer as the catalyst to measure our level of thriving. That’s perhaps the practice in a nutshell. To untangle ourselves from everything we have ascended from. To Ascend further – To rise we must take time to descend….journeying down paying homage to the lower realms of our consciousness, merging with it while remaining a witness to it’s slippery reptilian skin….to the lower realms of our nature, sinister = pre cursor to saintly. Not till you can stand on the prepossess of your most terrifying trait, steady eye’s surveying the memories of destruction, the gut shattering depth of your darkness…..not till you can look in the mirror and understand how to love the existential lonesomeness that rests in the pit of your stomach….not till you can say to me in the midst of the storm hands steady, mind nimble, creativity flowing “let’s do this” will you be deemed ready for Jedi Knighthood. Keep Practicing, inspiring, and becoming.
What’s the State of your nervous system? What’s your relationship to your trauma/karma? the history of the world? The History of your soul? And how do you engage with it?
Dr. Rainwater
Cut the Frou Frou 